Praying about a dating relationship
The first thing that should happen if it has not happened during the initiation of the relationship is that intentions should be established.Whatever that conversation looks like, intentions should be clear and it should be the man making them so.You’re trying to find out whether this is someone you should know more intimately en route to figuring out whether this is a person you could marry. You are trying to figure out if you to know this person intimately. One suggestion I have for couples starting out is that the majority of your time together should be spent with other people, preferably with your families and church families.Get to know one another in groups, find out how the other person reacts to people, spend time with the people he or she cares about.This will provide you a chance to get to know him or her well and will also provide a buffer and accountability against getting too emotionally intimate too early.Many people want to start out a relationship by spending a huge amount of time alone together.Do you have enough information to know that you could not marry this man?If a man initiates with you, ladies, think and pray and seek counsel before simply dismissing him.
If you don’t have even information at that level, feel free to tell him that you want some time to think and pray about it (that is, if you’re not sure at that point that you’re not interested).
Remember, your intent at this point is not necessarily marriage — and that’s not what either of you are committing to at this stage.
You’re simply committing to get to know her a little better in an intentional way to evaluate whether the two of you should then consider marriage to one another.
If you know the man well or at least better than what I’ve just described, but you are not sure whether you are interested in him, I’d encourage you to at least take some time to get to know him before giving an unequivocal “no.” Keep in mind that this is different from feigning interest when there isn’t any.
There are instances in which you can be genuinely unsure about a guy but still move forward this far.
In the end, there is no formula and no rote substitute for intellectually honest Christians seeking to care well for one another and to faithfully apply Scripture to infinitely varied relational circumstances.