Move slowly dating
Once you have your lists generated, keep them handy and allow them to be modified or updated as you date and meet new people. Try to enter every encounter with an open and curious mind, ready to receive the lessons to come.
They are not set in stone, but they are also not be ignored, especially if you find yourself in the biochemical throes of love lust. That insufferably cute and perfect couple at the park is either in the biochemical throws of lust or has another side to their relationship that you do not see. On some dates, you might learn about someone else, some you may learn about yourself, and yet others you may learn about the intricacies of being a private pilot for a billionaire (yup, true story there).
If I entered the dating arena with a closed mind, sure of what I liked, I would have never have met those men and learned those lessons.
Eight: Address Your Social Needs Divorce is alienating. The person that you spent most of your time with is gone.
Three: Release Expectations and View Each Encounter as a Lesson This is a big one. If you enter each date excepting a positive experience, you will be disappointed at least some of the time.
If you approach the meeting as a lesson, you will never be let down and you will gain valuable (or at least interesting) information in the meantime.
Six: Keep Some Distance It can be easy to be swept away when you meet someone new.
It’s exciting and it feels so good to have that feeling reawaken after you may have been fearing its death. You, yourself, will most likely change from how you were in your marriage.
As you list your “must haves,” try not to censor them; your subconscious may know more about what you need than your rational mind does at this point.
___ Dating after divorce tends to be a deliberate action, entered into consciously and tentatively after years or even decades with the same person.
This can be an opportunity for you to clarify your needs and the needs of a relationship before you step out on that first date.
You may be surprised to realize that there are aspects of your ex that you want again or perhaps characteristics that were not important before but are now.
For me, my ex was never a match for me physically (I’m not talking about intimacy here; we were an excellent match in the bedroom).
You may have lost other friends in the deal or had the nature of friendships slip and slide away.